Seasoned off-spinner Ravichandran Ashwin has admitted that he felt “absolutely crushed” when former head coach Ravi Shastri had termed Kuldeep Yadav as India's lead overseas spinner after the latter took five wickets in the 2019 Sydney Test against Australia.
During the Australia tour of 2018-19, Ashwin took six wickets to script India’s victory in the Test series opener at the Adelaide Oval. However, fitness issues saw him missing the remaining three Tests of the series.
"The first Test seemed like a distant memory by then," Ashwin told ESPNcricinfo, reflecting on his mental state by final Test of the series. "I had taken three of the first four wickets in the first innings after we were bowled out cheaply, and then when it got really flat in the final innings, I plugged away for 50-plus overs and took three wickets despite what turned out to be a grade three abdomen tear. In my mind, I had done something great for the team in excruciating pain, but all I heard was, 'Nathan Lyon took six, Ashwin took three.'"
Team India were in a commanding position to win the fourth Test in Sydney but the last two days of the game were interrupted by rain and the match ended in draw. As a result, the Virat Kohli-led side clinched the series 2-1 and became the first and only Asian team to beat Australia in a Test series in their own den.
Ashwin said he was genuinely happy for Kuldeep on taking a five-wicket haul in Sydney and he has a lot of respect for Shastri.
"I hold Ravi bhai in high esteem. We all do. And I understand we all can say things and then retract them. In that moment, though, I felt crushed. Absolutely crushed. We all talk about how important it is to enjoy your team-mates' success. And I was happy for Kuldeep. I have not been able to get a five-for but he has a five-for in Australia. I know how big it is. Even when I have bowled well (at other times), I haven't ended up with a five-for. So I am genuinely happy for him. And it's an extremely happy occasion, to win in Australia," said Ashwin.
"But if I have to come and partake in his happiness, and the success of the team, I must feel like I belong there. If I feel like I am being thrown under the bus, how am I supposed to get up and come for a party to enjoy the team's or team-mate's success? I went back to my room and then I spoke to my wife. And my children were there. So we were able to, you know, shrug it off, and I still made it to the party, because, end of the day, we had won a massive series," he further remarked.
For Ashwin, it was a testing phase and he needed support from the team management rather than being made to feel like he was being replaced.
"Motivation is for those who need it. But when someone is going through a tough phase in life and needs an arm around his shoulder that was a tough phase in my life," he said.
