The former Indian captain MS Dhoni was one of the most entertaining guys in the post-match interview. After the game, fans used to head over to his interview. It was a good combination of humor, sarcasm and some bold answers. He is no more India's captain, but he still voices his opinion on and off-field.
What if he was still captain? Ever imagined an honest interview of Dhoni, where he speaks up without any filter? Here is one for you.
Note: This interview is pure fiction and just for fun. This is meant to be humorous. If you take it seriously flush your humor like you flush your arrogance trying to impress a girl.
Media: What do you think about your bowlers? India won the match but we still lack strength in our bowling.
MS Dhoni: Well, of course you know, they are trying hard to keep it in the right area, but to be very honest they drop their brain in run-up and eyes while taking the jump. When I set fielders to protect off-side boundary, they bowl on pads and vice versa. They are also very consistent with it. One thing is good about Indian bowling is, they can deliver whichever bowl you want but it comes with a condition, they will overstep. Thankfully I have Virat and he speaks for me in the field. From inside, I endorse all his cuss words.
"But Dhoni how do you manage to keep yourself calm even in that situation?"
MS Dhoni: Calm walm kuch nahi. You would have noticed I go to bowlers personally to give inputs and most of the time they bowl well after that. Koi input nahi deta mai. I just threaten them "Bowl in line or you would have to search for a job in Railway under sports quota".
Media: Do you think, the youngsters should be given more opportunity as wicket keeper?
MS Dhoni: Well, if you ask me, I am the one who really wants the youngsters to get opportunities. Talking about wicket keepers, yes they should be given chances but only in IPL. Let me retire first. You are trying to shut down my shop too early, but I will tackle this question anyhow.
Media: You mentioned IPL, what do you think your chances are with Chennai Super Kings?
MS Dhoni: When you ask about CSK you should keep one hand in your mouth ready for a whistle. Talking about my chances, Chennai Super Kings and me are like Mobile and its battery. We are complimentary. CSK is returning next year and I have a special finger as a gift for Harsh Goenka. I am glad that CSK is back and now I can't wait to pick Irfan Pathan and ask him to warm the bench.
Media: We saw Harsh Goenka's tweet on you. Why didn't you reply him?
MS Dhoni: Well, it was one-way hatred. I never really cared about his statements and tweets. It would have been really awkward for me to outburst about a guy who is little less than twice my age and little more than twice my weight.
Media: Dhoni you were always against DRS but you seem to adopt it quite well.
MS Dhoni: Yes, I was the one against it but what can you do when the chapter you don't like covers maximum syllabus.
"Are you dependent on someone else while taking DRS or you back your decision?"
MS Dhoni: I try to ask others too, but who? Virat remains busy spotting chicks in the crowd. Ishant's hair doesn't allow him to see anything beyond 6 meters, that's one of the reasons why he bowls short. Talking about Jadeja, every ball for him hits stumps even if the batsman plays it from where Umesh Yadav bowls, sixth stump. So eventually, only I left and you know akkad-bakkad-bombay-bo never fails.
Media: Mahi, recently India did very well in the Women's World Cup, do you see Ziva in Team India and perhaps leading us to a world cup win?
MS Dhoni: I myself is the one who doesn't think about too far. Won't force on her to pursue a career. If she is interested she may play.
Journalist: "Dhoni please answer."
"Come here, let's have some fun," "You want Ziva to play for India?" says Dhoni.
The journalist replied: "Not that I want. That's what I want to ask you."
"Do you think she can't be a musician, looking at her piano skills?" asked Dhoni.
Journalist: "No. She is very impressive."
"Do you think she can play piano with closed eyes?" asked Dhoni.
Journalist: "She should, yes, sure."
"Then you have answered the question," *Kicks out of seat* *Throws out of media room* Isko ab andar mat aane dena, said Dhoni.
(Here's a bonus video of Ziva playing Piano. Enjoy!)
