India's off-spinner R Ashwin was not in a good mental space when he dealt with the injuries which halted his career progress. At one stage, he even thought about quitting the game if more injuries had troubled him.
Ashwin was playing with Athletic pubalgia which couldn't let him put his hundred percent on the cricket field. He was even out of action for a while before returning to Test playing XI against South Africa in 2019 at home.
Speaking in an interview with ‘The Cricket Monthly’, Ashwin recalled the mental trauma he had to undergo while dealing with the injuries.
"I was very nervous for about eight months, ten months. Every match I played. Athletic pubalgia is something that you feel all the time, like, there is some feeling around the abdomen, around the adductor, or something. So even if it was like a nerve moved here or there or some stiffness, I'd feel like, "Has it gone? Should I protect it before it's gone? Should I strap it?", That sort of paranoia.
“I think my self-awareness is very high. And I think a lot. So it was even harder for me. If you get injured, and you're coming back, it'll still be in your head. But if you get injured and go through the kind of mental trauma I had to go through, it is even more difficult. And I think I'm extremely well placed for the experience. I'm very well placed to face the adversities of life, for which I'm grateful," he said.
The 35-year-old later mentioned the former India captain MS Dhoni's words about the importance of process while going for a result. He believes to have cracked the process and he doesn't fear failing in front of millions of people.
“It had become a psychological thing. I have never feared failure in my life. So to go out there on the ground and fail in terms of performance, it's fine. Like MS Dhoni always said, it is process versus result. I believe I certainly have cracked the process. And I don't fear failing in front of millions or billions of people. It means nothing. At least I have got the [opportunity] to go out there and succeed or fail, which most people don't get,” said Ashwin.
Speaking on the thought of quitting cricket due to injuries, Ashwin revealed, "I was 32 - when probably the prime for a spinner is still ahead of him. I was not ready to throw in the towel. And I felt like I was being asked to, through the failings of my body. If I had broken down again during the South Africa series, I would have said, "This body is not meant to be." Thankfully I got through the entire series."
Ashwin became a part of India's limited-overs squad for the first time since 2017 when he was named in the T20 World Cup 2021 squad. He was not considered for the limited-overs format after the emergence of Yuzvendra Chahal and Kuldeep Yadav, the two wrist spinners.
(With inputs from ‘The Cricket Monthly’)
