AB de Villiers doesn't yet want to commit a possible retirement u-turn to play this year's T20 World Cup for South Africa, especially with the tournament under threat because of the COVID-19 pandemic.
There have been talks over the great cricketer intending to potentially return to the top level and feature for Proteas during the showpiece event in Australia. But those, it seems, are largely untrue, with De Villiers himself playing a waiting game.
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"I can't see six months into the future. If the tournament is postponed to next year a whole lot of things will change. At the moment I feel available, but at the same time I don't know how my body will see it and if I will be healthy at that time," De Villiers told Afrikaans-language Sunday newspaper 'Rapport'.
"I might get to a point where I have to tell 'Bouch' (coach Mark Boucher) I was interested, I would like to play a role but I'm not going to be able to play myself. I'm afraid of such a commitment and creating false hope," he added.
Neither does the former skipper feels entitled to walk into the Proteas unit on his past achievements. "If I am 100 per cent as good as I want to be, then I will be available. But if I am not I won't open myself up to that because I am not the type of person who does things at 80 per cent," he said.
"Then I have to do trials and show 'Bouchie' I'm still good enough. They should choose me because I'm really better than the guy next to me. I've never been the type of person who felt I should get just what I wanted."
It was Boucher only who convinced De Villiers about the fact there is still a lot of cricket left in him and so he shall consider making a comeback.
"I am uncertain about giving a definite answer because I have been very hurt and burned in the past. Then people will again think I have turned my back on our country. I can't just walk into the team."
"I have to work for my place and deserve it. It was very hurtful for me last year when people thought I assumed there was a place for me. I feel available and I will give it a go with everything I have, but I don't want special treatment," added the 36-year-old, who bid adieu to international cricket in 2018 and has since been plying his trade in leagues across the globe.
"I could write a book on 'Bouchie's impact just on my life, never mind cricket. I rediscovered that when I played under him at the Spartans (in the Mzansi Super League) in December. He was born to be an instructor. When he talks there's respect," De Villiers said.
"'Bouch' asked me why don't I give it another go. I've always said to him, 'I've never not wanted to be there. I've always wanted to be there. It's just, my life has changed'."
(Inputs from PTI)
