Sir Alastair Cook says the decision to call time his long, illustrious England career at the end of the 2018 summer at home was atleast one and half year into making because he could sense he wasn't anymore up for the hard grind you're required to go through in Test match cricket.
Cook bid farewell to the international game after the Oval Test against India as England's highest-ever Test run-scorer, with 12,472 at a diminishing average of 45.4. He is still active via the county championship for Essex but the task there isn't as taxing as it was at the highest level especially when he wasn't among the runs.
"The decision to retire wasn't just made after the Trent Bridge Test (against India in 2018), it was happening for 18 months before. It's sad to say, when it's something you dream about and you just lose that little bit of fire," the 35-year-old told Sky Sports.
"I'm not going to compare myself to David Warner but sometimes I watch him bat and I'm jealous that he gets to 50 off 30 balls, it's an hour into the day and he's already sorted. I had to graft - if I was getting 50, it was a three-hour job most times."
"After grinding my way through it a number of times, with the captaincy, I didn't have that much more to give, unfortunately," he added.
"I remember lying on the outfield in New Zealand and saying to (bowling coach) Chris Silverwood 'I think I might have gone here'. He persuaded me to play the summer, but it wasn't just that snapshot. It was a big thing to give away."
Cook's journey for England had begun in a rather unexpected fashion when he flew in from the Caribbean and scored a hundred on debut at Nagpur in 2006. "If you remember that England side that won the Ashes in 2005, they were all batsmen in their mid-to late 20s and you thought they'd all be around for a while."
"I played an England A tour in 2006 in Antigua, just before I got called up to go to Nagpur, and Dave Parsons, who was on the coaching staff, asked me 'when do you want to play for England?' I said 'I don't think it'll be for a while'," he recollected.
"Then a week later I'd played my first game and got my first hundred. The pressure was off me, I'd flown around the world, travelling for 48 hours and had two days in India, there was no expectation for me to do well at all."
"I kind of had a free shot at it. I kept looking down at the shirt when I was fielding and thinking 'I cannot believe I'm playing for England' and I had that feeling for the whole five days, so to score runs was very special," Cook added.
(Inputs from Sky Sports)
