Geoffrey Boycott, an England icon, was blunt in his judgment of Ben Stokes' squad after they lost the second Ashes Test by eight wickets, falling behind 2-0 in the series.  

Australia's first innings of 511 built the foundation, and a brutal period under lights left England reeling at 134/6 on day four. Stokes and Will Jacks briefly held England together, pushing them into a slender lead, but Michael Neser's career-best of 5/42 bundled England for 241. Australia easily achieved the target of 65 runs, with nine wickets in hand.

“Brisbane was a horror show: irresponsible batting, bowling too short, too wide, or too full, and catches dropped. This Australian team was there to be beaten, but somehow, after just six days of Ashes cricket, England needs a miracle. England talks the talk but can’t walk the walk. With this sort of batting and bowling, they couldn’t win an egg cup, let alone the Ashes urn,” Boycott wrote in his column for The Telegraph.

“Ben Stokes said England had a blueprint. They had been planning this tour for four years and know what they are doing. What a load of bull—. We can’t believe anything Ben or his team says. None of them wants to listen to anyone outside of their own camp," he added.

Boycott stressed England’s decision to play only one warm-up match in the lead-up to the series. England also chose not to send any first-team players to the one-off pink-ball domestic game in Canberra before the second Test.

“They are up their own backsides, convinced that Test cricket has changed so much that only they know anything about the modern game… One of the problems with this squad is that it appears nobody tells them off or sits them down and discusses what they could or should have done differently. "All we ever hear from the captain is 'attack,' and from the coach, 'keep the faith,'" he added.

Boycott also took a dig at Stokes for calling him and other ex-England players ‘has-beens’ for suggesting the team should’ve played warm-up games and for the England captain’s half-hearted apologies.

“But what do I know? I am just a has-been who did four England tours of Australia, winning two Ashes series and drawing the other two. This lot aren’t even afraid of getting dropped, which is why we see the same old failings, particularly in the batting," he added.

Australia and England will play the third Test in Adelaide from December 17 onwards.