Ashwin hasn’t featured in a limited-overs game for India since July 2017.
Off-spinner Ravichandran Ashwin has admitted that he had 'lost the joy of playing' cricket after finding himself on the sidelines of India’s white-ball setup and the constant battling with injuries.
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Ashwin last played white-ball cricket for India in 2017. He also missed a number of Tests due to fitness issues in England and Australia last season.
"Whatever I achieved I never expected when I started playing. I enjoy playing day in, day out," he told Mumbai Mirror. "But I felt somewhere in my career, because of the white ball snub and injuries, I had lost the joy of playing the game, which was very very dangerous for me. I could not watch the game on TV. That was something I did not enjoy. Thankfully I have gotten over it. I took the help of people and I have gotten over it. I am extremely happy, wherever there is a game and an opportunity to deliver, even for a club game, I would go with full commitment and willingness. If I keep my joy intact, there is no limit to what I can achieve."
After Ashwin’s snub, wrist-spinners Kuldeep Yadav and Yuzvendra Chahal have climbed up the ladder and have been outstanding in the middle overs for India. However, Ashwin still hasn't given up hope on a comeback into the limited-overs side.
"I do want to represent India, I have been doing it over the years, successfully at it. If you look at my T20 numbers and ODI number, they are no mean achievements," Ashwin, who has 150 ODI wickets and 52 T20I scalps to his name, said. "The hopes are still alive, but I take different approach from others. I don’t go and say I want to play, I don’t give interview... Mine is more towards the action. In my last one and half and two years, my career has been hampered by injuries. For me it is putting things right and getting my body ready. Because I know I am good. So, it is only a matter of time before anything came my way.
"I traveled a journey ever since, a journey of not being able to represent the country, a journey of being snubbed or not being picked. It is no mean task, you have to deal with it personally. You then have to answer to people who are asking you questions. At the same time, you have to keep your dreams alive. It is not easy. That journey has been quite challenging. I have learnt to live and deal with it."
Last month, Kings XI Punjab traded Ashwin to Delhi Capitals for Rs. 1.5 crore and left-arm spinner Jagadeesha Suchith. In the last two IPL seasons, the offie represented KXIP in 28 games, claiming 25 wickets but the franchise couldn’t qualify to the play-offs under his captaincy.
"My stint at Kings XI was fantastic to say the least. The experience enriched me in every possible way," he said. "I was given the role of captaincy, that was new boundaries I explored. Within my purview I thought I did a fair job, if not a very good job, but these decisions were not mine entirely. There are other factors, the owners did feel I haven’t delivered which is true. Because I could not take the team through to the play-offs in both the seasons. You can give excuses why we could not do that, but I am someone who take it under my chin and admit that ‘yes I couldn’t deliver.’ The trade was more initiated rather my doing. I look at Delhi as new boundaries and enable the team to achieve something great. From my side, I will try to come good in the IPL."
Ravindra Jadeja was preferred over Ashwin in the two-match Test series against West Indies in August. Since then it has become a notion that the off-spinner is only valuable at home.
However, Ashwin is unfazed by all sorts of "overstated" scrutiny.
"I feel it is a little overstated. Life is such that there would always be detractors who would say I could have achieved this or that," he said. "There are always going to be new things to be looked forward to. But in all honesty, I feel over the last one or two years, barring my injuries, wherever I played my performances as international spinners have gone up at different venues. This is my thought process, I don’t want others to agree with me. Performing at a venue on a given day is definitely not in your hands alone. You need to be lucky, decisions have to go your way, catches need to be taken... all these things are better if I explain them lesser. But where I stand right now, I am actually not bothered about these things. I feel I am at the top of my game with the ball and I am working on my batting."