Robin Uthappa played for India 46 ODIs and 13 T20Is.
Former Indian batter Robin Uthappa discussed how he fought with mental health concerns like despair and anxiety before recovering in 2011 following Graham Thorpe's death.
Thorpe, who played for England in the 1990s and 2000s, apparently committed suicide, according to his wife. Former Indian bowler David Johnson died two months ago in June for identical mental reasons.
Meanwhile, Uthappa has earlier bravely spoken up about his mental health challenges from 2009 to 2011 and how he overcame them.
In a social media post, the 38-year-old spoke out about his "debilitating and exhausting" struggle with depression, which took a toll both mentally and physically, to the point where he felt ashamed looking in the mirror.
He also confessed that this battle was significantly more difficult than facing the hardest deliveries on the cricket pitch.
“I recently heard about Graham Thorpe and we have heard about multiple cricketers who have ended their lives because of depression. Even in the past, we have heard of athletes and cricketers who have ended their lives because of clinical depression. I personally have been there as well. I know for a fact that it's not a pretty journey. It's debilitating, it's exhausting and it's heavy. It feels burdening,” Uthappa said on his YouTube channel.
“You feel like you are worthless. You feel like you are a burden to the people who you love. You feel like absolutely hopeless. Every step feels heavier and heavier. With every step you take, it feels like more is being added on to you. And just feel immobile. I went through weeks and months and years of just not wanting to get out of the bed,” he said.
“I remember in 2011 I was so ashamed of who I became as a human being that I couldn't look at myself in the mirror. I went all of 2011 just not looking at myself in the mirror. I did avoid any opportunity or even an instance of me looking at myself anywhere. And I know how defeated I felt in those moments. I know how burdensome my existence had become. I know how far away from being purposeful in life,” Uthappa added.
Uthappa's statement comes amid increased concerns over athletes' mental health. Having made his debut for India in 2006, Uthappa was a regular in the Indian white-ball team till 2008. He was part of India’s 2007 T20 World Cup winning squad as well.
He also represented India in 46 ODIs and 13 T20Is over nine years. He scored a total of 1,183 runs for India.
However, his form fell off in 2009 and after that, he got only a handful of opportunities. He had a successful stint in IPL, winning the tournament with Kolkata Knight Riders in 2014, where he won the Orange Cap for most runs-660.