Virat Kohli has been ruled out of playing for English county side Surrey next month, but good news for the county team is Rohit Sharma will replace him in the side.

Rohit before deciding to play for Surrey checked whether there is an anniversary, uncle's, father's, cousin's, birthday or nephew's tonsure ceremony during the scheduled matches or not, so he could score easily.

The owner of three double hundreds in ODIs expressed his excitement to play against Lancashire just because it sounds similar to Sri Lanka.

Earlier, Rohit was set to join Kent for his county stint following the suggestion of wife Ritika. But when he asked for the reason why Kent, his wife said, "I have heard Hema Malini saying 'Kent se Behtar Kuch Nahi on TV'." This was the only time Rohit was about to faint even when there was no Dale Steyn around him.

Virat Kohli, when he got to know about Rohit's inclusion in Surrey, talked to Farzi Times. He said, "I am glad Rohit joined the county cricket. It seems like my lose is bowlers gain. I am sure Rohit might have finished typing a letter requesting to shift all the Surrey matches to Eden Gardens. He is smart!"

Virender Sehwag also commented on the occasion. "We hope Rohit will perform well there. I want to scream 'Surrey jahan se accha Hindustan humara. Jai hind!' after he completes a hundred there."

We spoke to Nita Ambani as well. The owner of IPL franchise Mumbai Indians promised to give free live streaming as long as Rohit bats in any county match. Fans are practicing to blink eyes as less time as they can to not miss Rohit's batting.

A picture of Rohit's fan from England is doing rounds on the internet: 

Farzi Times also got to know that Gurmeet Ram Rahim Singh Insan, who claims to coach Virat Kohli, was thinking to join Sussex because of obvious reasons.

Note: The article is pure fiction and just for fun.